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5 Ways to Connect on a 1st Date

published  First Published: 21/12/2009
Article written by: Nigel Brookson
Often guys speak in a logical manner, not listening to the woman and turning every conversation back to their one and only talking point: themselves!
 
This makes it hard to make proper connections and the woman does not feel as though she has had a great conversation.
 
Here is what you need to do to overcome this:
 
1. Relate things to them, not just to you or your life:
 
When somebody tells you that they have just had an interesting experience, like going to Thailand for example, it is a common mistake to instantly relate it back to yourself with your personal experiences of Thailand. Instead, try to imagine their experience, bringing out their memories and showing an interest in their unforgettable holiday.
 
Don't immediately make yourself the subject of the conversation, first connect for a while allowing the woman to elaborate on her experience and then it is fine to relate it to yourself.
 
2. Use what they give you:
 
When someone is talking to you they usually give you information about themselves: their feelings and their lives. These are perfect opportunities for foundations of connections.
 
Often people ignore these and talk about themselves; instead, grasp every opportunity and connect on each point before moving on to the next.
 
3. Be Observant:
 
Women have usually put a lot of effort into their appearance and often, to their dismay, this goes unnoticed. By picking up on something interesting in the way they're dressed or a particular aspect of their outfit (their bag might match their shoes, belt, earrings and dress), they will be impressed with how observant you are and be glad that their effort hasn't been overlooked.
 
You can pick up on general aspects of their appearance or comment on jewelery and accessories which often have meaning or a story behind them.
 
4. Be empathetic:
 
When someone has an interest, passion or particularly strong opinion on a subject, there are three main ways of connecting to it.
 
The first is to simply say "me too" that shows you have common interests, the second is to disagree (but be sure to back up your views). The third and most effective response is to show that you can understand her passion, interest or view - even if you don't share it.
 
For example, if someone likes cooking you can show that you understand why she might enjoy it without actually sharing her passion.
 
5. Talk about things that evoke feeling:
 
Find something that they are passionate about - it could be anything from friends and family, to travel or even ballet. Connect with them on these subjects by showing that you understand why they have that particular passion.
 
Don't simply gloss over them by saying "me too" and instantly changing the subject. Try to keep the conversation going and lead on to ask about her other interests.
 
Use these steps during conversation and you will quickly form a connection within hours, as opposed to weeks.
 
 

 

 

Related Article: Is She Attracted to You?

 

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